Poor Jesse. He strode onto the beach with dreams of riding the Married at First Sight wave all the way to happily ever after. Instead, he got dumped on the rocky shore of I really like you, just not that way.
Worse still, he may have been the only person in Australia who didn't see it coming.
The second round of vow renewals ended with vastly different fortunes for the men who had fallen for the Marsh twins from Western Australia.
While Michelle stared down Jesse's declaration of undying affection, Sharon met Nick's in kind - but only after first leaving him hanging on a loaded "however", just as Vanessa had done to Andy on Monday night.
Is this just the way it goes when a woman is weighing up the pros and cons of a suitor who has only had eight weeks to prove his worth? Or do we detect the guiding hand of a script editor at play? Don't tell me all this reality isn't exactly real?
Things got off to a bumpy start as the girls headed back to Perth to think about the path ahead. Sharon's trust issues had been bubbling away in her last few days with Nick, but the revelation that Michelle had begun to follow him on Snapchat prompted an explosion of angst and doubt.
Sharon convened an emergency session of the Council of Blondes, who all agreed that not being able to trust a chap was a deal breaker.
Married at First Sight 2017: Sharon and the Council of Blondes Photo: Nine
Back in Melbourne, Nick convened a sesh of his own, with the Council of Blokes of Wildly Divergent Views, one of whom insisted it was too early to use the L word in his vows, the other equally insistent the time had come. "Now I'm more confused than ever," said Nick, who thought that was something worth drinking to.
Married at First Sight 2017: Nick says cheers to that Photo: Nine
Not that there was really any doubt which way he would jump. "This experiment is probably the best thing I've ever done in my life," he said. "If it didn't work out I'd be a wreck. I couldn't imagine life without Shaz."
Married at First Sight 2017: Nick and Sharon Photo: Nine
When he finally got said Shaz to the Place Where the Vows Are Renewed, as it is traditionally known, Nick went the whole hog.
"Sharon Marsh, you're the girl for me. If you give me the chance I'm going to be the kind of husband that's going to complement your life through trust, loyalty and understanding.
"There is just one more thing you need to know," he continued. "Sharon Marsh, I love you." Boo-ya!
Does Nick have Sharon's? #9Married pic.twitter.com/L9akKtdZ2I??? MarriedAtFirstSight (@MarriedAU) March 21, 2017
It was hard to tell if Sharon was delighted or mortified as she squealed "oh my God".
#9Married And Nick drops the L word... pic.twitter.com/wtKbWdNTUf??? Joe Calleri (@JDC9876) March 21, 2017
"It goes without saying there's been a strong physical and emotional chemistry," she told him when it was her turn. "However???" Oh-oh.
"Now that we've left the bubble of the experiment I've been able to see things more clearly," she said, and Nick sensed things were heading south rapidly. "I now know what is best for me at this point in my life, and I have to be true to that."
Good lord, was this about to turn into the biggest humiliation ever on Australian TV?
Shaz loves Nick. Oh the suspense. Here it comes.... #mafs #9Married @MarriedAU pic.twitter.com/9WTC9BCb81??? Eliza Hodgson (@elizahodgson) March 21, 2017
"And you, Nick Furphy, have my heart." Ka-pow.
"I was freakin' out," he said as they finally embraced. "You scared me. I was starting to shake."
Nick and Sharon #9married pic.twitter.com/r7YU603pzP??? Meg Rayner (@megrayner) March 21, 2017
The next day, it was sister Michelle's turn, but there was never much question of a happy ending for Jesse. As we got the drowning-man's-last-minutes highlight reel of their time together, it was hard to comprehend why Michelle had even stayed in the "experiment" so long.
There was no spark when she first saw him, she reminded us. His height (a smidge less than hers) was "a definite issue". The night he decided to do "a number two" in front of her was a real problem.
Married at First Sight 2017: Jesse and Michelle Photo: Nine
She enjoyed meeting Jesse's family in Adelaide, and visiting the market stall where Jesse works with his father. But she wasn't biting when Dad said, "she's got the right personality for the shop".
"Have I thought about working in a fruit and veg shop," she reflected. "Not really. It's not something I've dreamt about."
Really, how else could this play out?
Jesse, though, couldn't, or wouldn't, see it. "I feel like Mish is the girl for me," he said, "because she's like the wow girl I've been looking for. I look at her and sometimes I go wow."
Like, wow.
Has Jesse missed his chance to be more than friends with Michelle? #9Married pic.twitter.com/SqVK2FOlCg??? MarriedAtFirstSight (@MarriedAU) March 21, 2017
Inevitably, Michelle delivered the bad news, with a reverse "however". "I do want you in my life forever," she said. "But not as your partner."
So they can be buddies. With only the Nullarbor between them. Great.
#9Married pic.twitter.com/2aiIwhHEcU??? 9Honey (@9HoneyAU) March 21, 2017
Michelle tried to sell it as a "fairytale" ending of sorts, but Jesse had finally cottoned on to the truth that had been staring him in the face for weeks.
Married at First Sight 2017: Michelle finds the door Photo: Nine
"It's pretty much nearly impossible for a guy to get a girl out of the friend zone," he said. "It's like climbing a barbed wire fence."
And with that, the sun set on another television marriage.
Married at First Sight 2017: The sun goes down on Nick's dream. Photo: Nine
Karl Quinn is on facebook at karlquinnjournalist and on twitter @karlkwin
