“The death of a child is the worst loss that anybody can have,” Margot McAllister told the Mandurah Mail at a touching remembrance service for families that had a lost a child, on Sunday.
The “Flowers on the Water” ceremony was attended by about 10 people who were part of The Compassionate Friends (TCF), a group that provided support and helped individuals and families understand the grieving process.
The event was held to coincide with International Children’s Memorial Day, celebrated internationally on Monday January 29.
Handwritten biodegradable letters were attached to flowers and placed in the canals, as a tribute to the attendees late children.
Event co-organiser Sylvia Watts said she lost her son nearly four-years ago to suicide.
“It was totally unexpected – no warning signs whatsoever,” she said. “There wasn’t even a note.”
Sylvia said it was a huge shock to the whole family, and being his mother, she felt she had to show strength for the rest of the family.
“I just don’t know how I got through those first years,” she said.
“I will never stop grieving him. Even though I have lost a husband and I thought that loss was great enough – this far surpasses everything. He will constantly be in my mind till the day I die.”
Sylvia said she joined TCF, to deal with the grief.
“We have a special group for parents that have lost a child to suicide and that really lifted me up,” she said.
“It was astonishing how many suicides there are and how they range in ages from teenagers all the way through.
“I didn’t feel alone. I knew I could get in touch with them if I needed someone to talk to.”
A founding member of Mandurah TCF, Margot McAllister, referred to the grief associated with losing a child as “complicated”.
“It’s not meant to work that way. Parents are supposed to die before their children,” she said. “It is not the usual sequence of events.”
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Ms McAllister said the group provided an essential support service within the community.
“Knowing everyone else here has lost a child – it helps to normalise it and do away with the loneliness and alienation,” she said.
“We help people grieve in a healthy way.”
The Compassionate Friends have been in the community since 2012.
In March the group will participate in the Walk to Remember.
For more information, contact Ms McAllister on 9535 7761.
Support is available by calling Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800, Lifeline on 131 114, or beyondblue on 1300 22 46 36.
Carla Hildebrandt
Journalist at the Mandurah Mail
Journalist at the Mandurah Mail
