There are those who say time heals all wounds, but Tristan Look is not one of them.
It’s not hard to see why.
Sexually abused for five years as a child at the hands of an older relative who walked free from court last year, Mr Look says the past 12 months have only brought him more pain; more bitterness.
Waroona’s Steven Ferraro, 44, pleaded guilty to four counts of horrific sexual abuse against Mr Look in 2014.
The charges related to a series of molestations perpetrated by the older man on his much younger cousin in the early 1990s.
Crimes with a maximum prison term of 20 years saw Ferraro leave Perth District Court on a suspended sentence.
At the time of Ferraro’s sentencing, Mr Look referred to the suspended term as “f***ing bull***”.
Now, a year later, he has just spent his birthday reflecting again on how he felt robbed by the justice system.
“It’s been one year since court,” Mr Look said.
“It’s my birthday. I feel empty. I feel alone and sad.
“I feel angry at the judge who made a decision based on what he thinks is normal and okay to do to an innocent child.”
- Tristan Look.
“I feel angry at the judge who made a decision based on what he thinks is normal and okay to do to an innocent child.”
Last year the Perth District Court heard Ferraro was 18 years old when he first abused an eight-year-old Tristan in 1990.
Horrific details read in court placed the offences at Ferraro’s Waroona home address.
Further sexual acts happened between August 1992 and January 1995.
Ferraro told his victim not to tell anyone about the abuse and threatened him.
He ultimately pleaded guilty to the crimes, but this has given his victim no release.
Mr Look said he believed the matter of Ferraro’s sentencing should have been decided by jurors, rather than a judge.
But with Ferraro’s guilty pleas negating the need for a trial, this was never going to happen.
Still, Mr Look remains angry “one single, solitary man” was able to make a judgement which “changed the outcome of my life”.
“I am the one that continues living my life with the nightmares, visions, memories, feelings, emotions, darkness and negativity that always haunts me,” he said.
“Someone else’s actions have left a stain and ruins the rest of your life.”
Mr Look said he was far from inner peace, and he felt suicidal and “constantly angry and bitter and jaded” by the justice system.
“I have not grown,” he said.
“I have not changed. I have not made peace with anything.
“If anything, I’m more angry and more upset as the days go by.
“My bitterness infects everything in my life.
"You’re just expected to be over it, like time has passed so now it's time to move on.
“It's easy to say when it wasn't you.
“What hurts the most is that if it was a stranger or outsider to our family I'm positive there would have been outrage, but when it comes down to protecting the innocent and punishing the guilty, things change when it's blood."
Also unchanged over the past year is Mr Look’s commitment to helping others who have been through similar situations.
“I’m not alone in these feelings and I wish I could take away anyone else’s pain,” he said.
“I now realise, albeit too late, that coming forward and saying something is the beginning of the path to healing.”
Mr Look urged survivors of abuse to “find whatever it is that makes you strong”.
“Reach out for help,” he said.
“Don’t destroy yourself from within.
"Most days I simply put on my Lamb of God and Sylosis albums, listen to the words and the music and try and let myself see that there is some goodness in life.
“Music really helps for me.
"To my mum and dad and family, I'm sorry for when I let you down or distanced myself because I know my self better than anyone, and when I do this it’s for the benefit of everyone; I'm toxic to be around.
“And to my partner Toni, without you I would be much more lost than I care to think about."
Support is available by calling Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800, Lifeline on 131 114, or beyondblue on 1300 22 46 36.