It’s hard to think of the funniest thing about this whole census debacle.
For a start, I thought we all had to go to Bethlehem and fill out a form in a manger.
Then I found out we could all do it online.
All of us. At the same time.
Because what could possibly go wrong with millions of people trying to access the same internet site at pretty much the same time, right?
The internet can handle a lot of things – mostly videos of cute cats – but who in their right mind thought filing online would be a good idea?
It’s like inviting every single person you know – and a million more you don’t – to a party you are hosting – in a matchbox.
But for the ABS to come out on census night and acknowledge there’s a problem, and then say they’ll have a look at it in the morning is even funnier.
You can almost hear someone saying, “yeah, nah, it’s stuffed. We’ll get someone to have a bit of a gander at that tomorrow, ay?”
Even funnier were those with extreme privacy concerns.
You know the ones; they post photos of their children in the bath on Facebook and tweet their dirty laundry for the whole world to read about, but balk at the very idea of providing the number of bedrooms in their dwelling to the government.
God forbid anyone should know you have two children, but four bedrooms.
What are you using that spare room for?
I know. Privacy. Or a drug lab. Of course!
The very funniest thing though about the whole shemozzle, were the people convinced Australia would be a Muslim country by the time everyone filled out their forms.
A fear-mongering campaign stamped itself all over Facebook – because isn’t that where every genius shares their wisdom?
We were told to say we were religious even if we weren’t, because somehow, 2.2 per cent of the population was going to over-run our nation with burqas and halal snack packs.
Give me a break.
If the government really wanted to know all about us they would institute some kind of card which recorded your name and birth date, your address, and that of your dependents.
They could call it oh, I don’t know, a Medicare card or something.
Wouldn’t that make more census?