KING'S KONUNDRUMS is the column from Mandurah Mail journalist Andrew King.
Andrew is many things: journalist, excellent map reader, identical twin, lady killer (debatable), tea addict, inspirational leader, Louis Theroux look-a-like… but what he is most is a conundrum solver.
When life gives Andrew lemons he makes lemon brulee because he doesn't fancy lemonade.
When his girlfriend starts telling him he’s putting on the pounds because of all the lemon brulee he’s been eating he starts wearing loose clothing to compensate.
Through Andrew’s column he solves everyday problems - this is one of them.
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I have a conundrum.
Call it immaturity, call it laziness, call it Peter Pan Syndrome, whatever the reason I don’t like having to grow up.
Secondly, I don’t like that Peter Pan Syndrome is a description of someone’s unwillingness to grow up.
Peter Pan Syndrome should be reserved for a time when people develop the ability to fly.
You’d see someone knocking about flying through the air and someone would ask, “Hey, what’s that guys deal?” “Oh him, he’s got Peter Pan Syndrome”.
Now back to growing up - I don’t like it.
For a guy who up until this year still used an email address with the words ‘xxl’ and ‘superboy’ in it, growing up is hard to do.
An email address created as a joke in lower high school that I grew to love.
I’m sure we all created a stupidly stupid email address; hell I don't think I even needed an email at address at that point.
However, as stupid as xxl_superboy@gmail.com was, it had a proven track record.
It was the email address that got me the job at the newspaper.
It was the email address that allowed these conundrums to exist.
I’m not sure if my former editor overlooked it or was a fan of superheroes.
Whatever the reason it got results; however, a time comes when you have to move on.
That time came recently. When you’re applying for a loan you can’t go using an email address which refers to extra, extra large - they just don’t take you seriously.
It was sad to see the trusty email address go - sure it still gets used for online fantasy games but it’s not the same.
An email address isn't the only thing to change.
Immature jokes don’t seem to get the same laughs they once did, more bills seem to arrive in the mail, I've now got my own health insurance (luckily) and decisions that actually might have a bearing on my life seem to be mounting up.
Back in school days my biggest decision was whether to have cereal or toast for breakfast - now I don’t even have the option because I've forgotten to go out and buy bread.
Having expenses is no fun at all. I would say I wish money grew on trees but in all honesty, like the other plants in my garden, I probably wouldn't water them.
Another casualty of my unwillingness to grow up.
As I can’t stop ageing there really is no solution to this conundrum all I can do is hold out for as long as I can.
For now I will continue to laugh at low brow humour.
What do you think? Are you fighting a losing battle against maturity? Post your comments below.
